23:39


I'm feeling more & more secluded from the world, needless to say reality. The holidays have just kicked off, but they've failed to deliver much excitement or thrill right when they did. The past 2 days with my stressed out, workaholic mom hadn't been brilliant to say the least. It's hard to satisfy a middle-aged woman, I've gotta admit. Much to my consternation, she might just detonate at even the slightest err of mine. One really significant piece of knowledge that I've gained from a parent who's a teacher is to not even consider becoming one yourself in the future. Believe me, no matter how much i despise a certain few teachers, I can't help but sympathize with them; the amount of stress they're forced to tolerate is comparable to scales similar to that of a mountain peak. Having one as a mom has its pros and cons. Although others would say that having a parent who's a teacher is useful as you can gain much knwoledge from them, it also hurts to see your folks returning home from work looking drained & moody. It really sucks to see your parents with dissatiated frowns on their faces with the word "Sigh.." written all over thier lips without them having to even utter a single word. Sometimes when I'm aware of my parents' malcontent, I look at them and think "I'd rather sit alongside bedraggled peasants begging in a corner than watch my parents drown in their worry". The mood & atmosphere in the house definitely alters itself accordingly to the moods & feelings of its inhabitants. When even a single family member is feeling down or discontented, the whole family will feel it.(Well unless of course you were an abused child or just hate your family) I'm partly to blame for this, as they've already had to cope with bad days at work & school & I'm only adding to their sorrow by adamantly arguing with them non-stop even over the most trivial of matters & not focusing in school. My god. I was so selfish; I sacrificed their trust, love & happiness in order to shield my devastating ego. I've to rectify my faults against them, otherwise I may never get the chance to again. Recently, there've been quite a number of people who were loved ones to people I know who've passed away so suddenly.. I express my enormous gratitude to god that they weren't one of mine, & I sympathize with all those who lost their loved ones.May the fallen rest in peace & disappear peacefully into the afterlife.All of the events that have been happening around me as well, including a friend of mine's maplestory character getting hacked, Ziyang still aching from his traumatizing gastric flu & Danny being disallowed his computer to go online have all made me even more lugubrious as I'm conforming to all of the sorrow around me. At times like these I only wish for there to be joy, & I need to appreciate & cherish every single moment of ebullience that time has to offer.The video below, "Waking The Demon" By Bullet For My Valentine, Depicts how I'm feeling right now about all of the shit that's been happening around me lately.I just feel like screaming aloud; I'm angry because I'm frustrated & confused.. I just hope for things to get better. I realize that one is indeed affected by the aura of swirling emotions emitted by the people around him. If its hatred, even the happiest person initially can be turned over at the end.



Goodnight Everyone, & be as HAPPY AS A LARK whenever the opportunity, because happiness never stays, unlike hatred that lingers.

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Driven by Hate, Consumed by Fear.